The Baltimorean Pinay

I initially planned on writing this on my birthday but I was busy spending time with and thanking the people who really matter in my life. 

Although I always say age is just but a number, truth is, there is some kind of wisdom in numbers. At 38, I’ve learned a lot of lessons in life. These are applicable to me and reflect my past experiences. These might not work for everyone but if you find it helpful, by all means feel free to grab it.

1. Cherish your family and true friends. They will never leave you no matter what.
2. Your dreams and aspirations may seem insignificant and trivial to others. Don’t listen to them, move forward. You don’t have to change anything to please others. 
3. Reanalyze your relationships. Sometimes you’re unaware that you’re reflecting what’s around you ( and you realize most of it is just drama).
4. Make your OWN rules.
5. You will meet a lot of people as you go along in this life. But you can’t make friends out of everyone. 
6. Always keep a paper trail. It might just cover your ass in the future. 
7. Maintain a high moral standard. Do I have to explain that?
8. Some people would want you to be just like them. Ask yourself. Do you really want to be like them? Be unique. Be yourself. Be the best version of YOU. 
9. Read books. Reading makes you smarter. NO JOKE.
10. The best way to deal with toxic people, is not to deal with them at all. 
11. Some questions are best left unanswered.  You don’t need answers when you are happily living in the questions. 
12. Laugh out loud. Try it. It feels good. 
13. Stop being mean. Stop being a pushover. 
14. Your mental health is just as vital as your physical health. 
15. Whoever says you’re ugly and fat is a certified douche bag. Your physical appearance is not your value. 

I don’t know how to write anymore. It is as if I lost my way with words. There is a jungle of emotions inside me, and I couldn’t let it out.  As I type these words, my thoughts vanish into vapor trails.

Words came freely to me when I was younger. I can write about the most unexciting and mundane of things. In fact, when I resurrected this blog, I found 476 entries that for now I wish to keep private.

 Is it because I’ve been feeling at a lost lately? This anxiety of the unknown, that has been brewing since last year, has created this inner turmoil that feels like I’ve been macerated in way too long in scalding water. And everything around me is out of focus. I need to regain control.

I will regain control. Writing is my way of reminding me that once upon a time, I was a steady and determined girl. That person has to be inside me somewhere. And when I find her again, there’ll be no more stops and detours. She is moving forward.